How can I save the world
If I can’t even save myself?
But then,
I suppose
I haven’t thought I could save myself
for a while
I was told
He would do it
He was the only one who could
But I think I messed it up
Put it on wrong
Somewhere in the midst of the waves and wind
My own ignorance
The rope He threw into the sea for me
Became a noose
I wonder if
By the time the storm subsides
I’ll be dead anyway
And it’s too late now
To choose
A dignified death
Death my way
I would have rather drowned
Been lost forever at sea
Had them remember me smiling, enjoying the water even as it consumed me
Than having them drag my heavy body ashore
Screaming, wailing, gasping
At my bloated, unrecognizable features
Recoiling at the site of my body
Their daughter, sister, friend
Within reach
But no glimpse of who she used to be
More than dead
Gone
Might be what happens
But then again
I suppose
I haven’t thought I could save myself
For a while
Which means I haven’t tried…
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