excuses

i cleaned today
like a madwoman
couldn't stand the thought of
millions of tiny
particles of
you
still hanging around my apartment
laying lazily in my bedsheets
asking me to make them sandwiches

would've been better
just to burn the whole place down
but i don't own it
so


enough
reminiscing
i have had enough of remembering you
and i will continue to call every
exterminator in town
until one
can tell me how to kill
the thousands of tiny
eggs you laid
in my brain

perhaps i should just
get myself
a lobotomy
but i like it
when my spit stays in my mouth
so


someone find me an old priest and a young priest
to exorcise these demons
and remove them from me
what?! - the catholics don't do
exorcisms anymore?!
this is bullshit...
fuckin pussies

what i really need anyway
are a witch-doctor and a moonshiner
to brew up a concoction strong enough
to kill
the hundreds of worms
infecting my blood
slithering through my veins
swallowing the essence of me
and shitting out
you

a fortnight of ritual and booze and drumming and sweating a rough sex and visions and shooting shotguns and riding bulls and bonfires and chopping heads off chickens and digging in the dirt with bare hands bear hands shredding skin soft compared to claws the mother protecting her cub from you beyond warning in the spirit realm worshipping the totems in sacred dance all naked and painted and bloody

but
that's how bitches end up
on youtube
so