excuses

i cleaned today
like a madwoman
couldn't stand the thought of
millions of tiny
particles of
you
still hanging around my apartment
laying lazily in my bedsheets
asking me to make them sandwiches

would've been better
just to burn the whole place down
but i don't own it
so


enough
reminiscing
i have had enough of remembering you
and i will continue to call every
exterminator in town
until one
can tell me how to kill
the thousands of tiny
eggs you laid
in my brain

perhaps i should just
get myself
a lobotomy
but i like it
when my spit stays in my mouth
so


someone find me an old priest and a young priest
to exorcise these demons
and remove them from me
what?! - the catholics don't do
exorcisms anymore?!
this is bullshit...
fuckin pussies

what i really need anyway
are a witch-doctor and a moonshiner
to brew up a concoction strong enough
to kill
the hundreds of worms
infecting my blood
slithering through my veins
swallowing the essence of me
and shitting out
you

a fortnight of ritual and booze and drumming and sweating a rough sex and visions and shooting shotguns and riding bulls and bonfires and chopping heads off chickens and digging in the dirt with bare hands bear hands shredding skin soft compared to claws the mother protecting her cub from you beyond warning in the spirit realm worshipping the totems in sacred dance all naked and painted and bloody

but
that's how bitches end up
on youtube
so

revival

i need something soft
a place to lay my heart
as it heals.
it wasn't broken
this time
but
cut
too deep.
it was easy enough
to piece back together
before.
but now
the blood
fleeing
a cruel way to discover
that life force
has no allegiance
to me.

what a way
to be humbled.
crushed by
the one dream
i had protected forever.
until.
and my heart
blames me.
and i blame
my heart.
but we are all
we have now.

so forgiveness
begins here.
revival
in me.
there are no other healers.
and there is
no magic glue
to fix this.
we stick together
because finally
we understand.
only we share
this pain.

i need a soft place
to bleed.
back into my heart.

election update 11:30

OBAMA WON!

Now can I just ditch the Democratic "we're smarter and much more mature" shtick for a second to say SUCK IT MITT!!!!!!! SUUUUUUCCCCKKKKK IIIIIIIIIIIIIT!!!!!!

No...? But it's the second term, time to go HAM on these JIVE TURKEYS! Still no...? Ok... oops.

election update 9:50

Obama is leading, barely.

But more importantly, did Brian Williams just say "there's a whole lotta weed on the ballot"?

I needed some comedy...

Election update 8:15

I'm watching the coverage of the 2012 presidential election, just like most US citizens.

It's 8:15, and I'm a little nervous.

Don't get me wrong, I believe in hope and change... but I've dealt with stupidity face-to-face.

That shit ain't pretty. It is, however, absolutely fucking rampant.

Watching and waiting...