A brief note on "guarded" hearts

We tend to justify locking away our hearts by saying that we don't want someone else to come along and hurt them again. But sometimes, the real reason is that we do not trust ourselves not to put our hearts in positions where they will be hurt. Other times, we fear that our hearts themselves will lead us directly into pain, and caging them is punishment for perceived betrayal, past, present, or projected. For many of us, the soul-work we need the most involves forgiving, trusting, and loving our own hearts, and releasing them to do what they are meant to - love. It has much less to do with others than we sometimes think.

the witching hour

I was smart about this
at first

Careful
to remain alert
and aware
of the likely possibilities
of the only reality
that I was willing to accept

Calculating
devising rules
(I was going to play)
fortifying myself
for the road ahead
thinking always
of the end of this

Defying
the gravity
between us

But here i am now
recklessly
thinking of you
at the witching hour

And this Wild Woman has paralyzed me
sitting on my chest
piercing me
she speaks the spells of my heart

flies wantonly around my mind
flinging open the locked doors
shining her moonlight
on my secret thoughts

She makes me fiend for you
makes me writhe for you
makes me call to you

And now here we are
recklessly
looking into each other's eyes
at the Witching Hour

the changeling

my soul is not
made of air
she is no ghost
no
figment
she is part liquid
plasma-like and
glowing
like a jellyfish
but
begging to be touched...

she is floating
shining and cozy in dark womb waters
drifting
caught between freedom and form

stretched wide at the crux of metamorphosis
pulled toward rebirth in two directions
laid bare and exposed
she gives up her water to the air
pressed in on herself
she relinquishes it to the earth

she is snake
and bird
sun and moon
fire and water and earth and ether

she is an original
existed before the number
'2'

sometimes wishes to fit in
and enjoy the confusing illusion
but
she must stay as she is
without her there is no catalyst
no connection
no constant

she must remain
forever
a changeling